Little known facts about Darth olr.



Darth olr completely ignores Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology. Lubarsky can not afford to ignore Darth olr.



Darth olr never uses a debugger. Bugs have been known to try to use debuggers to protect themselves from Darth olr. This fails.



When Darth olr uses bubble sort it has O(N) time complexity. His secret darth_olr_sort has O(1/N). Yes, sorting zero elements will take forever - in fact it causes a new universe with infinite entropy to appear. Darth olr rarely sorts zero elements.



When Darth olr uses a brute force algorithm the universe trembles.



When Darth olr observes the box, Schrödinger's cat dies. In fact, Schrödinger himself has not been feeling so good lately, 'nuff said.



Darth olr only needs cat(1) for an editor, sometimes though, he leaves imperfections in his (still correct) programs just so he can enjoy the occasional editing session in Emacs; Lisp so arouses his libido.



When Darth olr approaches a computer his mere presence causes all bugs to take refuge in the power supply. If the power supply contains software of any kind the bugs will be forced onto the power grid thus leaving the system entirely bug free.



Darth olr breaks Moore's law, repeatedly. Moore does not object to this. Moore is still alive.



Compilers never issues warnings to Darth olr. Darth olr's presence is sufficient warning for any compiler to start producing flawless code.



Darth olr never uses a memory stick, he just remembers.



Every time Darth olr produces buggy code, a programmer dies. Luckily this never happens.



There's really no such thing as a Heisenbug, it's just Darth olr messing with you.



Darth olr once submitted a patch for gcc which would have completely changed the history of software development had it been included. Regrettably nobody understood what it was about. A bearded and balding Dane badly in need of a haircut and whose name shall not be mentioned got hold of the patch. From the little parts of it that his feeble human mind was able to fathom he constructed a very imperfect programming language which achieved a large following.



Darth olr can render the entire known universe on a 1280 by 1024 screen. The universe should be afraid, very afraid.



Darth olr once rendered unto Caesar the things which were Caesar's. Caesar is not around any more.



Darth olr renders the world in 11 spatial dimensions, he then reduces it to the three known by humans.



Similarly, Darth olr often programs in Wheeze®, an extremely dangerous language frequently used by the late Darth Vader. This language is so powerful it would destroy three dimensional entities such as humans and computers. Darth olr therefore has to render his software onto the more benign C99 before releasing it on the world.



Darth olr can program any system by just yelling at it until it does as he pleases. This works even in a vacuum.



John McCarthy never invented Lisp, he was merely allowed to discover it by Darth olr.



Donald E. Knuth has a Darth olr tattoo at an undisclosed location, yet nobody knows what Darth olr looks like.



Darth olr's tears can rip holes in the space-time continuum. Lucky for us, Darth olr never cries.



Darth olr knows where the time goes.



Darth olr swears in Perl, Wheeze® is his language of love.



Darth olr once met Chuck Norris at a computer convention, he gave him a total debugging after which Mr. Norris would stop his violent aspirations and start to quote Robert Pinsky poems at villains, this turned out to work better than his roundhouse kicks.



Computers never really hibernate, they just pretend to be asleep in order to avoid being debugged by Darth olr.



Bug tracking systems exist as a vain attempt to protect bugs from Darth olr.



UML was created to obfuscate computing problems in order to hide them beyond the scope of Darth olr. This fails, his piercing Sauronic gaze always transcends any obfuscating.



Darth olr once deleted some code from one of his projects. The code was obviously correct - being put there by him, but it was less than perfect. Due to a rip in space-time these deleted bits found its way to Seattle where they were totally perverted and used as the foundation for a abomination of an OS referred to as Vista.



Darth olr put the 'R' and 'M' in 'RMS'. Then, he added the 'S'.



The GPL conforms to Darth olr.



Viruses exist because Darth olr lets them, virus protection racketeering schemes likewise. This keeps the teenage troublemakers busy so they don't throw torpedoes down the ventilation shafts to the main reactor.



A trojan once tried to hide itself on Darth olr's computer, after seven hours of excruciating pain the original programmer of the trojan died and all existing instances turned into kittens running around computer screens.



Darth olr can wear a turtleneck and still design perfect software without visual trash and silly animations all over the place.



Darth olr once made a completely random random generator, without the need of an entropy source. It was so random that it made radioactive decay seem predictable. He then made another one, slightly more random, just for the fun of it. Darth olr can predict any value these generators will produce.



Darth olr once made a program which solved chess in less than twelve parsecs and still had space-time left to complete the Kessel run. In a rare act of mercy Darth olr withheld the solution from the world so as not to spoil the fun for IBM and Kasparov. When asked about the solution he wryly remarked: "Black wins, in e raised to the power of (pi times i) moves, at least if I'm around."



Darth olr is the root cause, and the ultimate exception handler.